The Sixth Virtue: Compromise

How To Get Divorced – Compromise

Even in uncontested divorces, spouses often feel strongly about the interests at stake. As a result, periodic impasses are inevitable. Two persuasive but seemingly opposing proposals can create an impasse – a stalemate. Knowing how to overcome impasses is an important skill for couples who plan to  negotiate their own divorce through an online divorce service. Consider the following example, that has relevance to all Americans.The Constitutional Congress of 1787 was at an impasse that threatened the birth of the United States: Should each state have a number of Congressional representatives proportional to its population or should each state have the same number of votes? Some argued: How could a small state ever have a say in making and passing laws if Congress was proportionally represented? The large states would always win. Others argued: How could the larger states protect their larger contributions of monies and resources if teach state had the same number of votes? The tyranny of a few small states could draw federal resources out of proportion to their contribution.

And there the issue lay, threatening to sink the launching of a new nation.

Who broke the impasse?

The idealistic and brilliant Jefferson? Nope.

The moral and exceptionally well read John Adams? No again.

It took a realist, someone with a practical turn of mind and the utmost respect for different points of view: Benjamin Franklin. Drawing upon his long experience with Philadelphia craftsmen, Franklin reminded the disputants that “when a broad table is to be made, and the edges of planks do not fit, the artist takes a little from both and makes a good joint. In like manner here, both sides must part with some of their demands.” He then proposed: Why not two bodies of representatives, one with proportional representation and one with equal representation?

The resulting discussion, of course, constructed the Senate and the House of Representatives, institutionalizing the creative tensions between state and federal interests without forcing either side to concede wholly to the other or to give up basic principles. A solution was found, not by revolutionaries propounding unwavering political principles but by a man with equally strong beliefs in humility, tolerance, and respect for differing points of view.

Oftentimes, to reach acceptable solutions:

“Both sides must part with some of their demands.” Benjamin Franklin

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